That little bit

I sit here and invite you, moment after moment. I take a pen and fail for words to make their way. Every emotion & feeling that had been dancing at the periphery, in a philosophical realm, has gone deep inside & become meaningless!

With more or less a self-reliant heart, I would fight with the clouds of doubt at times which will try to overpower. Doubts would leave me sooner & cleaner mostly, but would not die. I was not sure if I wanted them to.

It’s late in the night & as if like a woman trying to give birth to a child, I keep moving my pen for something that is making all the effort to come out for a long time. What is it? Something that will pour out & consume me like I have never experienced before, but have wanted all my life, at least briefly.

It’s like familiarizing yourself with the music notes when a melody desperately seeks an expression. Where you feel you’re not the Generator or the Operator or the Destroyer – basically you’re not GOD, but you’re a channel that’s perhaps stuffed in places & hindering the flow.

There are a lot of people looking for a purpose. I also dream but I’m not sure if I dream for a purpose or of a purpose. I dream because dream happens. But as I dive deep into my dreams with all the paraphernalia of intellect & reason & the essential stuff called myself within – I lose all the charm because of the detail. But what to say – this is not a sad or a disappointing state of affairs. It feels like a peaceful maturity within.

Life takes turns to expose the vulnerability time & again & you want to be available. Just That! You don’t want to cringe or rush through or demand. You’re just available for life – the next moment, the next hour, the next day & so on. Time really does not have much of a significance, when distinction between a chaotic & a perfectly organized life cannot be done.

But are you becoming dead inside? No and yes. Is it not life if it’s lived without an anticipation. Even when it’s not business keeping you busy and you have ample time to anticipate. Perhaps one is dead. But no one is not, or how would the writing happen, how would any action happen.

Desires, purpose & all fancy stuff of mind. Getting into the core of these, I try to figure out my intent or the seed in my conscience, which sometimes I locate & at others relegate to those parts of me which I’m not familiar with.

Moving on this upstream of a complex of desire & joy & fear & search of meaning & purpose – I just seem to be going somewhere, where the heart feels a deja vu & the head is either lured towards the unknown or fears it. But an upstream it still is, as the journey feels onward!

 

Of Marriage

Flipping through the pages of Khalil Gibran’s works, after a long time, came across some beautiful excerpts. Difficult to find a concurrence these days, but nonetheless, sharing one, as sort of a dedication too.

Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, master?

And he answered saying :

You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness.

And let the winds of heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love :

Let it rather be a moving sea between shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together :

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Virtually Real

“The next exhibit you see is by Sophia” – said the facilitator.

“An artist’s faux pas –  isn’t it dad ? Sloppy hands or maybe butter fingers”

“Oh no,son! This is deep indeed.”

“This is the picture of life. You sit in a bowl full of cereal, unable to have it. Sometimes you don’t have the mouth and at others you don’t have the appetite. Also, there are times when there is no cereal. The instances when you did savor a stomach full of it, are the moments that keep bringing you back, to have it once more!

For the spectators though, you’ve had a spoonful of scrumptious food and you’re still smacking at it, making them feel miserable.

You know, we are incredible!”

“So deep.., I’m not sure if this would have been the photographer’s intent-but that’s a beautiful rendition, dad! Is that experience ?”

“Why should you name and reason everything or can you ?”

“Hmm.. I get it, I wish I could grow up to be like you”

“Well.. that would be a pity! I wish you use it to go a few steps further!”

“..And ladies and gentlemen, our next exhibit by Dev..”

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Inspired by Picture it and Write

Smile

The photographer’s ways would be such a slow boat to China, that she would lose the patience with her own smile. She would wonder why growing up meant preserving smiles in the frames.

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Inspired by Trifecta Writing Challenge

And I..

Eyes lift up

Open and awake

Or so I’m told

But I was dreaming

I still am

The picture I behold.

********************

Bruised and healed

Wisdom keeled

Prophecies complete

Shaken faith, wonder seized

The beginnings of strangeness

Bring me to believe

The spell that leaves

Little to bereave.

*********************

Come home now and sleep

It’s a weary street

These teary eyes

Aren’t a reprieve

Joy would come

And soon would leave

And so would pain

Which I struggle to beat

Nothing is neat, nothing is bleak

All is me and that’s all I need.

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Inspired by The beginnings of strangeness